Can I Construct a Decent Blog Entry?

Or maybe the question should be can I continue to construct decent blog entries?

OK so I am going through a bad point in my life at the moment and this is a lot of the reason I don't blog. I like being seen as the bubbly happy Jadey. This depressed state I'm in really sucks. Add to this a lack of time and the fact that things seem to be the same all the time and I don't feel I have much to blog about.

But on the weekend I was so priveledged to catch up with some of the bloggers for lunch and a chat. I almost didn't go becauseI woke up feeling really crook with a hacking type cough and I didn't want to make Beckie sick this far into her pregnancy. But she assured me her immunity was pretty high at the moment and everyone around her was sick so I should come anyway.

I am so glad she did because after I started moving the cough went away and hasn't returned since.

I had an awesome time with the girls just chatting away. They all looked brilliant and are such happy alive and vibrant people.

I wish I had pulled out the camera when I first arrived because not long after I got there Nicky and R had to go. (We should catch up more than once every two years girl!) Then Linda and Josh were off after not too long as well.

I met new bloggers (Hi Cat!) Lurkers (G'day Suzie) and Old Bloggers (Beck, Ash, Kate, Linda, Chris H, Nannette, Jac, CKK and geez I hope I haven't forgotten anyone here)

The cupcakes I picked up at the market topped off my day brilliantly especially because when I went in search of Koko Black later I discovered they are closed for renovations. So the cupcakes hit the sweettooth. I squished them a bit in the car before I got them home though otherwise I would have taken some photos cause they were so cute!

I ended up in Bed by 10pm Sunday night.

I had a migraine Monday which kept me away from work and today was my RDO so it allowed me some recovery time.

Work is still the same even though the old boss is gone. I believe I am being held back from a promotion because of my size. I have applied for some positions in NSW also so fingers crossed I will get one of those so I can move on with my life. I was fast tracking when I first arrived in this company and now everything has stalled and everyone else has overtaken me because I have been held back.

Everytime a promotion comes up a new excuse does too.

Today I got a form letter back from a position I applied for in Melbourne saying unfortunately at this time blah de blah blah.

I'd understand if I wasn't good at what I do but I happen to be one of the best in the country. There's no real reasons.

Add to this my parents have both been sick and therefor not working, I am missing my boy like CRAZY and I seem to be failing in every area of my life I am so depressed.

I feel all the responsibility for my family has landed squarely on my shoulders and at the moment it has and it is crippling me. My uncle has been a support this month but all that's done is allow me to pay off the over draw on my creidt card.

I am seeing all these people around me have successes in their lives and I can't help a bit of greeneye. Finding love, success at work, getting married, having babies, buying houses and new cars, travelling, pay rises.

I am stuck in such a rutt.

My ankles are killing me (probably to do with the cold) I'm stacking on weight (bigger than I've ever been seen by any of you before) and, and, and......

Jason and I clocked up 6 years together last weekend. I've been in Melbourne for 3.5 years of that. I was only supposed to be here 6 months. This is adding to the tension and the pressure.

Why can't life be easy?