5/84

Well apparently yesterdays pancakes didn't hurt me too badly. 123.3kg today.

I don't really have much to say today. I dunno why.
I have had this really powerful depressive feeling. It's made me really sad, short and emotional. There's absolutely NO reason for it so I'm hoping it passes overnight.

I need some de cluttering tips please! What do you think is the best method for selling unwanted items? eBay, trading post, thursday trader, market stall, carboot stall. What do you bother selling and what do you chuck? Can you really sell almost anything (as long as it's in good condition) ??

I need to help Mum get this house together - today she's depressed. I need Domestic Blitz or Second Chance or something to come in here and give us a huge hand. We seem to be chasing our tail with getting this place ready.

4/84

Weigh in this morning 123.7kg

Sometimes I gotta say I am a complete moron!

This afternoon I got heaps of exercise in my wheelchair thanks to a bed shopping trip for Mum and Dad. They had a waterbed that was in a constant state of repair/leaking. It had patches on patches and they decided it wouldn't leave the house with them when they leave.

Finally a week or so ago it got a leak that just wouldn't be patched. You'd get in the bed and get out with a lovely damp feeling.

So the bed has been pulled apart and they were planning on sleeping in the airbed I bought a few months back until the move took place.

It only took a few nights for Dad to start complaining that they needed a real bed so shopping was undertaken today. We failed miserably! There's really no nice beds out there at the moment.

In the meantime I got about 45 minutes worth of vigorous wheelchair cardio/ubwo. Carpet and hills are KILLERS. I avoided the delicious looking donuts and choc chip cookies in the food court. (They looked soooo good)

Then later in the evening I picked up one of my good friends to go see a movie. We were a little early and there's this place called Stacks beside the cinemas. Stacks is a pancake joint - You can see where this is headed right?

Yup me buried face down in Jamaican Banana Pancakes. Just like below only add ice cream. :(

They were honestly some of THE BEST pancakes I have ever tasted! (And I make awesome pancakes) But I stuck to my shakes today until that moment. And it's important that I lose this weight! I made a whole list about why this is important to me and then all it takes is someone saying OOOo pancakes and I'm gone!

I do hope tomorrow is better.

Just as a side note - I went to see Fast and the Furious. I loved it! I loved it LOTS! I am so glad no one had given any bits or pieces away for me too cause I enjoyed seeing the story unravel. So I won't give anything away here either. Except that Vin Diesel is back and he's still hot. :D

3 / 84

Weigh in this morning 123.7kg. I'm happy with the downward type trend for now. I also found it interesting that my clothes weigh 1.3kg. I thought it would be less than that. 1.7kg to go to this weeks goal.

The sleeping thing is no better.
The food thing I'm doing heaps better with, but I haven't moved too much today.

1pm Shake
4pm Shake
8pm Cheese Twists
8:15pm Veggie Soup
11:30pm Shake



Apart from the cheese twists I had it all under control. They kind of came into it when I waited too long to get the soup out and then overheated it. The soup is so nice! I had forgotten how much I love homemade veggie soup. I love broth based soups. Not much a fan of pumpkin or tomato or creamy stuff but the broth based are yummy. And such a winter comfort food.



I suppose the trick it to get through winter and it's confort foods and bulky clothes and come out the other end smaller than you started. It's not an easy challenge but that's the one I'm taking on, and one I plan on acheiving.

2/84

I'm stealing Miss Nicky's title format because it's simple and it rocks IMHO. (Sorry Nicky I'm a shameless theif.)

Today I got up soo late! I had my alarm set and somehow slept through it. I slept through everything! (An impressive feat when it continues to go off every ten minutes or so and is right by your head)

I think it's because yet again my head went no where near my pillow until around 3am. I keep getting wrapped up in my book when I go to bed and I just can't put it down. It's called Gangland Australia and it covers major crime in Australia from the convicts coming off the first ship right through. It's so interesting. On that I do hope that they continue to take time periods in our history and make more underbelly series.

I had an appointment at Centrelink today though, apparently I can claim a sickness benefit because I'm not working but have a job to go back to etc. I went in for my appointment today and someone set me up for the wrong type of claim so I have come home with new paperwork that I have to fill in and go back again with.

I had to make my veggie soup tonight to go with the shakes and that involved a trip to the supermarket. I refused to let Mum push me at all in the wheelchair which meant one great workout for me while getting my shopping done. A solid half hour cardio & upper body workout :)

Food still isn't in line though - I need to get it together without excuses.

2pm - Shake (yes first thing for the day)

6:30pm - Kettle Chips (about 25 grams)

7:30pm - Veggie soup

10pm - Lite Ice Cream

I feel like shit writing it out so perhaps that might help me stop eating it! At least I didn't cook the chocolate cake (which I wanted to do). More shakes less shit.

Weight this morning down to 124.1 kg.

Dropping weight after eating shit can't last forever.

Am Posting on WAS frequently and reporting on here. So I suppose I am doing OK-ish. I retook my before photos in my undies - OMG My belly is so big my undies roll down and hide and it looks like I'm not wearing any :( And I'm not someone that carries that much weight on my tummy! My arse and thighs are magnets for fat content. My tummy is taking the enormous overflow.

I am also really excited about something else that's new in my life. I have had a chat to a couple of people to help me get myself started but I'll be making the announcement soon. I'm hoping that it helps me pay for the wedding and also get out and about and network a bit more. But more on that later cause it deserves it's own post when I am more organised.

Stay Tuned!

Day 1, Week 1 (124.9kg)

Well I haven't gotten off to the start I thought I would today. I really should have. There are no excuses.

I've done quite a bit of walking / shuffling today which is good. So I can tick the box for movement. But food was terrible! I am supposed to be on shakes and vegetables only.

11am - Shake
2pm Chicken Pie (they are lean but it's not a shake is it)
7:30pm Haloumi
9pm 5 min chocolate cake and ice cream

SHIT!

Well I was supposed to get out of the house today but my poor Mum had apparently spent the night vomiting and was suffering vertigo so all of our appointmwnts for today were cancelled and moved around. I basically spent the day looking after her (role reversal but I'm no where near as good at looking after her as she is of me) looking after the dogs. (2 of which are wounded at the moment that story another day) And watching tv.

I watched Secrets Of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and the first disc in the Original Underbelly series. I haven't seen any of it being that I was in Melbourne while it was showing (and banned) and I moved to Sydney just after it finished airing on our tv. I believe it's being played on TV again now.

I was up early though so hopefully that's a start to getting my sleeping patterns under control. Because I can;t drive I unfortunately haven't been able to go shopping for my soup ingredients. And when I stood on the scales this morning my weight was down from yesterday to 124.9kg. I told ya there was some water weight there. That means I've lost 1.6% of my body weight so far. (How very biggest loser of me) BTW I'm a daily weigher. It works for me - when I don't weigh in daily I go off the track when I do I lose weight so no negative comments from the peanut gallery please.

I'll attempt to blog something everyday. No promises though :)

And no I'm not posting the recipe for the chocolate cake but if someone else wants it I'll email it to you. (Make it in 5 mins in a mug in the microwave mmm yummm)

Have You ever Taken up a Challenge??

Have you ever taken up a challenge??

I have a few times and at times I have been successful and at other times I have failed miserably. Accepting failure and getting up to accept the challenge again shows character. So that's what I'm going to do now.

We Are Slimming is about to start another challenge. The 12 Week Winter Warm Up Challenge begins tomorrow. I have won this challenge once before. I worked out everyday and I stuck to my eating plan strictly and I lost a hell of a lot of weight. Being accountable and having somewhere to report can be a great help.

The last couple of times I have taken this on I have to admit I have let life get in the way and I stopped being accountable after the first week. Not good. I'm hoping the fact that I am home bored for at least another month means that I am going to get into the habit of posting and updating etc so that when I go back to work I keep it up!

Please come join us if you have a goal you are reaching for. This challenge is completely free and you have nothing to lose except kilograms :) You can start any day this week. It doesn't have to be tomorrow.

I took my starting photos, measurments etc tonight. Oh Boy. I have never been so big before and it's enough to make anyone want to cry. The challenge only requires I take a waist measurement but habit says I take multipoint measurements. I think it also helps show where I am losing from etc.

I hate these photos so hopefully being ballsy enough to post them on my blog helps me stick to the right path. I can tell that when I do get to my goal weight though I'll be upset for wearing shorts so you can't really see the full hideousness of my legs. Cause there's nothing like a comparison photo haha. Unfortunately I didn't bring any bathers or anything to Melbourne with me. :(




BEFORE PHOTOS

STATS


Height:~ 168cm
Weight:~ 125.2kg


Neck:~ 38cm
Shoulders:~ 108cm
Chest:~ 123cm
Left Arm:~ 42cm
Right Arm:~ 39cm
Small of Waist:~ 110.5kg
Naval:~ 131cm
Muffin Top:~ 149cm
Hips:~ 146cm
Left Thigh:~ 72cm
Right Thigh:~ 73cm
Left Calf:~ 50cm
Right Calf:~ 48cm





OVERALL CHALLENGE GOALS


By July 27th I'm going to
♥ Have done all necessary physiotherapy inc the exercises set
♥ Have regularly updated my blog (1 x a week min)
♥ Regularly updated WAS
♥ Followed all doctors orders
♥ Have lost at least 10kg
♥ Be down at least 2 dress sizes
♥ Exercised at least 5 x a week for a minimum half hour as a habit
♥ Limit my junk food habits
♥ Establish a sensible sleeping pattern
♥ Become more aware of my eating
♥ Eat at the table not in front of the TV or at my desk
♥ Have my engagement party planned and organized
♥ Wear a dress to my engagement party





GOALS TO ACHIEVE THIS WEEK


♥ I am going to stick to my shakes
♥ I am going to move a little more everyday
♥ I am going to cook up a big pot of Vegetable soup
♥ I am going to set my alarm to start getting up earlier
♥ I am going to be under 122kg (thinking I'm holding onto a lot of water weight)

BTW - for those following along, Yes I know this weight is up on last week. But I have had every treat imaginable this week knowing I'm getting 100% serious now. I expect it's mostly water but there has to be some damage in there as well. It'll come off.

Why Do I Want to Lose Weight?

Why I Hate Being Fat

1. Using crutches is a bitch - try lifting 125kg repeat all day
2. My arse doesn't fit in chairs
3. Or in Toilets without touching the sanitary bin
4. Once I didn't fit on the toilet at all (this one)




5. I'm always worried about breaking a chair
6. When I squeeze into one of those nearly breaking plastic chairs my arse and legs stick out the sides
7. Oh and I have to hold the chair when I stand up and seperate it from my arse or it comes with me
8. My thighs are also taller than the arms on chairs (if that makes any sense)
9. Cutting & painting my toenails involves holding my breath and struggling
10. Clothes shopping is a bitch
11. I'm constantly trying to rid my double chin (I think double is being nice)
12. I can't
13. Big girls underwear is grannyish
14. If it looks nice it won't hold my boobs up for the day
15. Sitting in Planes, Public transport, Cinemas, Theatres etc is all uncomfortable. I just don't fit.
16. I feel sorry for the people sitting beside me
17. I can't cross my legs - this is a dignity maintaining pose you know
18. People say mean stuff about me
19. Kids say it out loud and laugh
20. Feeling sick at work cause I wonder how people take the fat girl seriously
21. Changing in change rooms
22. Stuffing myself into a swimming costume
23. Brazillians are a tricky business, bruising occurs for fatties and the beautician has so much to hold
24. Shaving your legs involves sucking it in and taking a deep breath all at once and folding yourself in half
25. Cycle classes are kind of similar when your boobs don't knock you out
26. I'd like a dressing gown that fits
27. And a towel that wraps around me
28. I'd like to try on wedding dresses - but I'm too scared to even look
29. Eating in public is horrible
30. So is buying food at all
31. The rashes between my legs
32. in my groin
33. under my boobs etc
34. Fat sex
35. Feeling limited on ANYTHING because of my size

What I Am Looking Forward To

1. I will be a weight I can publicly declare without embarressment or shocked looks
2. I won't touch the sanitary bin when I use the toilet
3. The gap between my thighs
4. Fitting into chairs properly
5. And having room left over
6. Painting my toes without passing out
7. Ditto Shaving my legs
8. Wrapping myself in an oversized towel
9. And in my oversized gown
10. Wearing the wedding dress of my dreams
11. Participating in sport and in classes at the gym and enjoying them again
12. Buying sexy underwear
13. And teasing my hubby with it (well he will be)
14. Not spilling out of my dress on our wedding day
15. Enjoying our honeymoon
16. In my bathers
17. Walking & Playing with Storm without being sore
18. Trouble free pregnancies
19. Simpler reconstructive surgery recovery
20. Increased movement & flexibility
21. Some great photos of me
22. To show people what I used to look like and it be my fat photos not my skinny ones