2/84

I'm stealing Miss Nicky's title format because it's simple and it rocks IMHO. (Sorry Nicky I'm a shameless theif.)

Today I got up soo late! I had my alarm set and somehow slept through it. I slept through everything! (An impressive feat when it continues to go off every ten minutes or so and is right by your head)

I think it's because yet again my head went no where near my pillow until around 3am. I keep getting wrapped up in my book when I go to bed and I just can't put it down. It's called Gangland Australia and it covers major crime in Australia from the convicts coming off the first ship right through. It's so interesting. On that I do hope that they continue to take time periods in our history and make more underbelly series.

I had an appointment at Centrelink today though, apparently I can claim a sickness benefit because I'm not working but have a job to go back to etc. I went in for my appointment today and someone set me up for the wrong type of claim so I have come home with new paperwork that I have to fill in and go back again with.

I had to make my veggie soup tonight to go with the shakes and that involved a trip to the supermarket. I refused to let Mum push me at all in the wheelchair which meant one great workout for me while getting my shopping done. A solid half hour cardio & upper body workout :)

Food still isn't in line though - I need to get it together without excuses.

2pm - Shake (yes first thing for the day)

6:30pm - Kettle Chips (about 25 grams)

7:30pm - Veggie soup

10pm - Lite Ice Cream

I feel like shit writing it out so perhaps that might help me stop eating it! At least I didn't cook the chocolate cake (which I wanted to do). More shakes less shit.

Weight this morning down to 124.1 kg.

Dropping weight after eating shit can't last forever.

Am Posting on WAS frequently and reporting on here. So I suppose I am doing OK-ish. I retook my before photos in my undies - OMG My belly is so big my undies roll down and hide and it looks like I'm not wearing any :( And I'm not someone that carries that much weight on my tummy! My arse and thighs are magnets for fat content. My tummy is taking the enormous overflow.

I am also really excited about something else that's new in my life. I have had a chat to a couple of people to help me get myself started but I'll be making the announcement soon. I'm hoping that it helps me pay for the wedding and also get out and about and network a bit more. But more on that later cause it deserves it's own post when I am more organised.

Stay Tuned!

Day 1, Week 1 (124.9kg)

Well I haven't gotten off to the start I thought I would today. I really should have. There are no excuses.

I've done quite a bit of walking / shuffling today which is good. So I can tick the box for movement. But food was terrible! I am supposed to be on shakes and vegetables only.

11am - Shake
2pm Chicken Pie (they are lean but it's not a shake is it)
7:30pm Haloumi
9pm 5 min chocolate cake and ice cream

SHIT!

Well I was supposed to get out of the house today but my poor Mum had apparently spent the night vomiting and was suffering vertigo so all of our appointmwnts for today were cancelled and moved around. I basically spent the day looking after her (role reversal but I'm no where near as good at looking after her as she is of me) looking after the dogs. (2 of which are wounded at the moment that story another day) And watching tv.

I watched Secrets Of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and the first disc in the Original Underbelly series. I haven't seen any of it being that I was in Melbourne while it was showing (and banned) and I moved to Sydney just after it finished airing on our tv. I believe it's being played on TV again now.

I was up early though so hopefully that's a start to getting my sleeping patterns under control. Because I can;t drive I unfortunately haven't been able to go shopping for my soup ingredients. And when I stood on the scales this morning my weight was down from yesterday to 124.9kg. I told ya there was some water weight there. That means I've lost 1.6% of my body weight so far. (How very biggest loser of me) BTW I'm a daily weigher. It works for me - when I don't weigh in daily I go off the track when I do I lose weight so no negative comments from the peanut gallery please.

I'll attempt to blog something everyday. No promises though :)

And no I'm not posting the recipe for the chocolate cake but if someone else wants it I'll email it to you. (Make it in 5 mins in a mug in the microwave mmm yummm)

Have You ever Taken up a Challenge??

Have you ever taken up a challenge??

I have a few times and at times I have been successful and at other times I have failed miserably. Accepting failure and getting up to accept the challenge again shows character. So that's what I'm going to do now.

We Are Slimming is about to start another challenge. The 12 Week Winter Warm Up Challenge begins tomorrow. I have won this challenge once before. I worked out everyday and I stuck to my eating plan strictly and I lost a hell of a lot of weight. Being accountable and having somewhere to report can be a great help.

The last couple of times I have taken this on I have to admit I have let life get in the way and I stopped being accountable after the first week. Not good. I'm hoping the fact that I am home bored for at least another month means that I am going to get into the habit of posting and updating etc so that when I go back to work I keep it up!

Please come join us if you have a goal you are reaching for. This challenge is completely free and you have nothing to lose except kilograms :) You can start any day this week. It doesn't have to be tomorrow.

I took my starting photos, measurments etc tonight. Oh Boy. I have never been so big before and it's enough to make anyone want to cry. The challenge only requires I take a waist measurement but habit says I take multipoint measurements. I think it also helps show where I am losing from etc.

I hate these photos so hopefully being ballsy enough to post them on my blog helps me stick to the right path. I can tell that when I do get to my goal weight though I'll be upset for wearing shorts so you can't really see the full hideousness of my legs. Cause there's nothing like a comparison photo haha. Unfortunately I didn't bring any bathers or anything to Melbourne with me. :(




BEFORE PHOTOS

STATS


Height:~ 168cm
Weight:~ 125.2kg


Neck:~ 38cm
Shoulders:~ 108cm
Chest:~ 123cm
Left Arm:~ 42cm
Right Arm:~ 39cm
Small of Waist:~ 110.5kg
Naval:~ 131cm
Muffin Top:~ 149cm
Hips:~ 146cm
Left Thigh:~ 72cm
Right Thigh:~ 73cm
Left Calf:~ 50cm
Right Calf:~ 48cm





OVERALL CHALLENGE GOALS


By July 27th I'm going to
♥ Have done all necessary physiotherapy inc the exercises set
♥ Have regularly updated my blog (1 x a week min)
♥ Regularly updated WAS
♥ Followed all doctors orders
♥ Have lost at least 10kg
♥ Be down at least 2 dress sizes
♥ Exercised at least 5 x a week for a minimum half hour as a habit
♥ Limit my junk food habits
♥ Establish a sensible sleeping pattern
♥ Become more aware of my eating
♥ Eat at the table not in front of the TV or at my desk
♥ Have my engagement party planned and organized
♥ Wear a dress to my engagement party





GOALS TO ACHIEVE THIS WEEK


♥ I am going to stick to my shakes
♥ I am going to move a little more everyday
♥ I am going to cook up a big pot of Vegetable soup
♥ I am going to set my alarm to start getting up earlier
♥ I am going to be under 122kg (thinking I'm holding onto a lot of water weight)

BTW - for those following along, Yes I know this weight is up on last week. But I have had every treat imaginable this week knowing I'm getting 100% serious now. I expect it's mostly water but there has to be some damage in there as well. It'll come off.

Why Do I Want to Lose Weight?

Why I Hate Being Fat

1. Using crutches is a bitch - try lifting 125kg repeat all day
2. My arse doesn't fit in chairs
3. Or in Toilets without touching the sanitary bin
4. Once I didn't fit on the toilet at all (this one)




5. I'm always worried about breaking a chair
6. When I squeeze into one of those nearly breaking plastic chairs my arse and legs stick out the sides
7. Oh and I have to hold the chair when I stand up and seperate it from my arse or it comes with me
8. My thighs are also taller than the arms on chairs (if that makes any sense)
9. Cutting & painting my toenails involves holding my breath and struggling
10. Clothes shopping is a bitch
11. I'm constantly trying to rid my double chin (I think double is being nice)
12. I can't
13. Big girls underwear is grannyish
14. If it looks nice it won't hold my boobs up for the day
15. Sitting in Planes, Public transport, Cinemas, Theatres etc is all uncomfortable. I just don't fit.
16. I feel sorry for the people sitting beside me
17. I can't cross my legs - this is a dignity maintaining pose you know
18. People say mean stuff about me
19. Kids say it out loud and laugh
20. Feeling sick at work cause I wonder how people take the fat girl seriously
21. Changing in change rooms
22. Stuffing myself into a swimming costume
23. Brazillians are a tricky business, bruising occurs for fatties and the beautician has so much to hold
24. Shaving your legs involves sucking it in and taking a deep breath all at once and folding yourself in half
25. Cycle classes are kind of similar when your boobs don't knock you out
26. I'd like a dressing gown that fits
27. And a towel that wraps around me
28. I'd like to try on wedding dresses - but I'm too scared to even look
29. Eating in public is horrible
30. So is buying food at all
31. The rashes between my legs
32. in my groin
33. under my boobs etc
34. Fat sex
35. Feeling limited on ANYTHING because of my size

What I Am Looking Forward To

1. I will be a weight I can publicly declare without embarressment or shocked looks
2. I won't touch the sanitary bin when I use the toilet
3. The gap between my thighs
4. Fitting into chairs properly
5. And having room left over
6. Painting my toes without passing out
7. Ditto Shaving my legs
8. Wrapping myself in an oversized towel
9. And in my oversized gown
10. Wearing the wedding dress of my dreams
11. Participating in sport and in classes at the gym and enjoying them again
12. Buying sexy underwear
13. And teasing my hubby with it (well he will be)
14. Not spilling out of my dress on our wedding day
15. Enjoying our honeymoon
16. In my bathers
17. Walking & Playing with Storm without being sore
18. Trouble free pregnancies
19. Simpler reconstructive surgery recovery
20. Increased movement & flexibility
21. Some great photos of me
22. To show people what I used to look like and it be my fat photos not my skinny ones

The Heavens Open in Victoria

Yesterday was interesting here. I have been praying for rain for Victoria and have been altogether bored with the endless clear days that we have had since I got here. Except of course for the weekend Monnie and Tiny came down to enjoy the airshow LOL.

Well it's opened up and the last few nights I have slept happily with the sound of the rain hitting the laserlite pergola outside my bedroom window. Almost as good as rain on a tin roof which is one of the coolest sounds ever don't you think?

Well yesterday we also got hit with winds over 150km per hour. Which makes life interesting! Especially when a big tree in the backyard decides to uproot. Thank God it went across the road because otherwise it would have been in my lap in the living room. And then I wouldn't have been able to watch the Biggest Loser Finale. Ha-ha-ha.

A quick call to the SES and when they had finished with some more major and more important disasters around town they came and cleared the tree off the road for us.

As soon as that was done and we were deciding what to do about the fence we looked out to see our other fence blowing over. So we went to reinforce that. Dad bumped one of the decorative vases that are at the front door and smashed it into a million pieces.

Then after we cleaned that up and finished reinforcing the fence so it wouldn't fall over Mum went to walk out the front door and the handle came off in her hands. It had broken completely, so there was a drive to Bunnings to buy a new front door handle and locking mechanism.

It just wasn't our day here yesterday but in 21 years of living in this house we have thankfully escaped any and all storm damage until yesterday and what we got hit with was minor in comparison to what could have been and what others copped.

Now on the news lately has been stories of the Swine flu. And until today it was thought to be a problem that only existed overseas. Now it seems it may very well be on Australian Shores. In today's report from ninemsn was the below quotes.

"Public health expert, NSW Professor of Infectious Diseases Epidemiology Raina
MacIntyre, says the situation is serious enough for Australians to wear a face
mask.

"Any time from now, people who are in crowded situations, caring for sick
people either as healthcare workers or in their own families, travelling on
public transport, (they) should wear a mask," she told AAP.

The swine flu has struck down otherwise healthy, young people and is
believed to have been transmitted from human to human.

Symptoms are much like those of regular human flu, including fever,
cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue."

So what are your thoughts? I am mostly inside but I know many of you will find yourself in regular crowded situations and on public transport. Will you be wearing a mask? Will you be taking any extra precautions?

FINALLY - I am looking for 11 more things to put on my 101 list of things to do in 1001 days I would love your suggestions. I am going to go through the list and figure out what I can tick off while I'm sitting on the couch too. (Completing the list is one of them)

Oh and just for fun I took a better photo of my Engagement ring on my hand - If you think I love it you are so right. I love the ring and everything it represents. I think I might look at it more than usual and think it such a special thing that links me to Jason. I miss him.

Post Surgery Musings

Well I got my cast off! Yay!!! Oh my goodness. I never knew how hard it would be to cope post op. I never realised how annoying the cast can be and I'll be honest I was pretty lucky. It didn't stink and it didn't itch too badly. The last couple of days it was starting to itch crazily.

When he pulls it off you can see there's two casts on there. Excuse the hairy leg you can't shave under the cast :P





It was damn heavy in the end and very uncomfortable though. It kept going soft and had to be reinforced which in the end left me with about 15kg of plaster uncomfortably hanging around my ankle. If the surgeon didn't take off the cast when I went to visit I was going to ask to have it off and restart by shopping around for a fibreglass cast which is a lot lighter and stronger.

I have a couple of weeks before I start physio and at the moment I am doing little tiny walks with crutches. By little I mean TINY it takes me 10 minutes (without exaggeration) from couch to toilet which is probably 15 - 20 metres. And doing that once or maybe twice per day is my maximum. Both for walking and for my poor shoulder which is still giving me hassles.





It's a little bruised looking but it's ok.

You know what I have learnt here though? I asked questions of my surgeons in relation to weight loss and having the surgery and was told weight wasn't going to be a problem. Anaesthetics aren't like they used to be you know. Your weight doesn't really make that much difference blah de blah blah.

Well if I had of known the struggles I would face being over weight post surgery I would have made a much bigger effort to get it off beforehand I tell you.

Not only was using crutches hard (which as we know with the previous injury quickly became impossible) BUT it all started before the surgery. I was given a gown, hat, booties and paper undies to wear into surgery.

The paper undies barely made it above my knee! I told the nurse I'm keeping my own on cause they don't fit. I thought the paper undies were embarrassing but having these bulky paper undies not fit was even more embarrassing.

The sponge baths in hospital while appreciated had me very self conscious about my fat arse even in my drugged state. I even felt sorry for the poor nurses who had to deal with such a sight.

When it came time to move anywhere and do anything that presented it's own challenges. Do you know how hard it is to lift 127kg? It's not light. Even regular weight lifters would call that hefty. And to get anywhere you need to lift yourself. Lift yourself out of wheelchair to toilet and off. Off and on couches. Getting in and out of bed, in and out of cars. EVERYTHING.

When it came time to using a wheelchair (I've had two now) My thighs are so big they push out the armrests and rub on the wheels. I look a little like a big sausage stuffed into a little sausage skin. I am so big it's hard to control and push a wheelchair especially when your thighs are on fire from the rubbing and the person pushing is dealing with the resistance issues.

(Who is this girl and how did she get so fat?)

When it came to using scooters I had to check the weight ratings. I had to leave the arm rests up because they lift by themselves otherwise. I just don't fit! I would get into tight spots and the scooter would fit through and my hips would brush on whatever we were passing.

Even now - My weight is causing more pain than necessary while I am trying to relearn to walk.

Doing this again - it's time for me to get serious. It's time for me to get as much weight as possible off before going into my next ankle surgery. I also recommend to anyone looking at having any surgery to take whatever measures to get it off before your surgery despite what your doctor says.

Well I'm off work through all of May and I'm out of leave so that sucks badly! The bills don't stop just because you do and I wish I had planned better to cover myself but I think I'll be OK. Maybe. I'll call Jason LOL.

PS According to my latest weigh in, I'm down 2.9kgs to 124kg. At least it's begun.

Get your own graph at skinnyr

Blogger is being an arse and wont upload photos so there's a couple of vids but check back in a little while for piccys.

OOPS

Well I thought that since I was sitting on my arse doing nothing for weeks on end I would blog more but apparently this means you don't really have all that much to blog about.



I changed my pain meds again after being sick all day everyday. I have a great doctor thank goodness. But then I stuffed up my shoulder. Actually I stuffed up my shoulder at work somehow the week before the surgery but I thought all had come good. So the threat of shoulder surgery loomed for a little while until results on Friday showed it to be just soft tissue damage and with Physio and care it should come good.

My plaster cast also went soft - like material so my GP did some patch work and I have a 15kg plaster cast on now I reckon! The damn thing is so big. But it covered up all my pretty artwork :(

I got myself a little scooter to help me get around since I can't use crutches. And I found a way to buy one that was cheaper than renting one. (Yay) Plus I can sell it later to get money back. It's small enough that it breaks up to go in the boot of the car but big enough to carry me and go about 45km on a single charge. Perfect to get me out of the house, go shopping, have lunch etc.

Easter weekend I got to catch up with my boy which was awesome. I am missing him like crazy. Jason and Michael (another photography friend of ours) drove down from Sydney for the Easternats which is a yearly commitment for Jason and I. http://www.easternatsphotos.com/



They arrived on Thursday and since my Aunt was in town visiting my cousin for a short period I dragged them out to a family dinner. I was a little worried for poor Michael who had just met my entire family and now ewas being dragged out for more but I shouldn't have worried too much. My Aunt and cousin are always good for a laugh and Michael felt more than welcomed. We all learnt alot at that dinner too. I won't go there here though way too much information.



I thought I was going to have to fork out for councelling for Michael for awhile there but he had a ball.


Friday we started setting up our tent at Sandown and then had a BBQ lunch back at our house. Josh and his girlfriend came over and since it was Camilla's birthday Easter Sunday we organised a gorgeous gold heart charm. So gorgeous I want one too haha.


Saturday through to Monday night it was all business. Jason spent stupid hours awake printing out the preview folders for people to order their photos from and I felt terrible that I couldn't do anything to help.


I spent this year in the tent for a first and I am amazed at how busy they get and how tiring it is. Full respect to my parents for holding down the fort for the last 7 years. But next year I think we need a bigger tent.


Jase & Michael went home on Tuesday after shooting over 24,000 shots over the weekend. Insane! And they had to stop on the way out of town to do another photoshoot. Yeah they were tired when they got home you can guarantee that.

(Excuse the dodgy iPhone pic it's the only one I have with the ring on)

Hows this for silly? We all know about my up and down weight battles (Ok it went down once and then I have steadily brought it up again) But I always thought the day Jason put a ring on my finger it would be a magical, instant, successful change that would come about in me and I would get skinny.


Please tell me other people thought like this too?


Well I'm telling you right now there is no such Engagement Ring magic that comes along. None at all. I am doing nothing at all (not that I can between ankle and shoulder) and eating everything. Oh boy! Lucky I have two years to get my act together but I need the two years of hard work if I'm going to look like the bride I would like to look like.


I have however been spending a whole pile of time on various wedding forums, reading blogs, facebook and whetaver else. The couch and my laptop are my friends. I think I have some dates.


What do you think?


If we were to get married on a public holiday weekend would people travelling from interstate prefer the extra day off on Monday for touring / travelling etc OR prefer to spend less on Petrol / Flights which will no doubt be higher on a long weekend? (Accomodation shouldn't be more expensive cause it's not a long weekend in Sydney just in Victoria.)


Tomorrow I am visiting the surgeon so wish me luck!

BTW What is the deal with Bloggers formatting when it comes to pictures??? The paragraphs are always wrong and they never come out the way they are supposed to.